The mental load of motherhood

Something I was mentally prepared for when I had a baby was something I think EVERY mother expects and EVERY mother gets warned about. You will be busy. You will have to keep a constant watch on baby and have a million things you always have to do because your time is now dictated by someone else’s schedule and unless you are a “pinterest perfect” schedule type of mom, you cannot predict what those little monsters will do. And I say that with the utmost love 🙂

What I was absolutely and unequivocally NOT prepared for is the mental load (or overload) that motherhood brings you. You are constantly thinking to the next thing you have to get done. You are constantly worried about when you can squeeze your next task in. “Days off” are filled with little things that you said you would get done until you realize your day is done and you have run out of time to relax.

My mind is constantly racing. Where’s my coffee, I’m exhausted. How I will get dinner ready by a certain time or what I can squeeze in for that hour during his nap (and wonder if starting anything is worth it or should I nap). Have all of the grandparents had enough time to see him lately or do we need to plan an outing? Don’t forget to drink that coffee before it’s cold. Is he reaching milestones? How can I make this house look less disheveled while holding a baby? I know the daycare asked me to bring more wipes, do I even have more wipes? Can I get to the store? Coffee? NO TIME! Am I neglecting anything? How’s my husband? Does he have my coffee? Have the dogs gone out yet? Can I even take the baby out right now? Is it cold? Why don’t these feetie pajamas fit anymore? How has this baby pooped, yet again! ANNNNND I’ve only been up 30 minutes.

I KNOW there are beautiful souls between my family or friends who are always willing to help and my husband is the best helper in the world. But sometimes, it is way more effort to manage the help then it is to just do something. Plus, you never want to feel like you are bossing others around or taking advantage of them. There is a reason “project manager” in a company is a full time job that requires certification and gets paid 6 figures…

Moms, I KNOW this is the hardest part of motherhood. Especially managing it on no sleep. I KNOW it’s difficult to take a step back and let things go wrong for a second. Be unclean for a second. That moment you choose to enjoy just having fun with your baby or cuddling while they sleep and watching a guilty pleasure TV show will infinitely charge you.

To those people around the moms and are genuinely trying to help, DO NOT ASK HOW! I beg you. Just find something to do and do it. Don’t bring attention to it. Don’t make it a big deal. And for the love of God, DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT. Just help us by getting things checked off the list so when it inevitably crosses our mind, we can move on to the next fleeting thought. It is more helpful than you may even realize.

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